First of all, our sunny friend Zoya Nikolaevna Lapitskaya, take our best congratulations on your Birthday, have fun and happiness for yourself as you can do it for somebody else. Be joyful, funny and beautifully irresistible as you always are.
Now I continue with your Humorines, Zoya.
1. One man said to the other one:
-“What did your wife say when she saw you kissing the neighbor woman?”
-“Guess what? -Nothing! But those two front teeth of mine which needed to be removed very long time ago, were lost”
2. One woman complained to the friend at her husband:
-“I cannot accustom my husband to order. Every day he is hiding his wallet to a new place.”
3. Husband came home drunk. Wife said: “Choose me or vodka?”
Husband scratching his head answered: “Is there much vodka?”
4. Husband is in bed, having flu. “Darling”, addressed he to his wife: “If I die, will you be missing me?”
Wife: “Sure,darling. I cry for any trifle.”
5. Woman: “I am afraid of you, man.”
Woman: “You can rape me.”
Man: “How can I rape you if you are on the second floor balcony.”
Woman: “”But I descend down to you.”
6. Why is the rooster singing all his life?
Because he’s got many wives and not a single mother-in-law.
7. Woman after several months’ dating with the man said:” Honey, isn’t it the high time to introduce me to your family?”
Man:”I am not sure. My children are now at mother-in-law’s place, and my wife is on vacation.”
8. He: “Tell me, sweetheart, how many men did you have before met me?” She turned around and kept silence.
After some while he hugged her by the shoulders and said: “Excuse me, darling, are you upset?”
She: “Not at all.I am just counting…”
9.”Yesterday for 100 roubles a fortune teller said that my husband is not loyal to me.”
“Really?! I could tell this news to you free.”
10. The judge at the court asked the accused: “You’ve steal the way the prosecutor told, haven’t you?”
The accused: “No,not so. But his method deserves attention.”
Zoya, for you your favorite talk show, Watch, please: “To-night in the Evening with Andrey Malakhov July 4, 2015-Sunny Clown Oleg Popov”