If Youth but Knew, if Old Age but Could (Retirement Humor)

Listen to the beautiful verses :“GRANDMA”

“If youth knew, if age could!’ has been an old cry. The tragedy of human race hasValat St.Patick's day fiest been that youth does not know the consequences of action and age does not have the physical power to do things. Age has foresight and wisdom born out of experience. If youth had the qualities of age and vice-versa, the world would have been a much nicer place to live in.

Here are some photos of how retirees are entertaining themselves at the Club:

Some humorous questions and answers about retirement:

Q.: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?

A.: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Q.: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?

A.: Tied shoes.

Q.: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?

A.: NUTS!

Q.:What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?

A.: If you cut classes? no one calls your parents.

Q.: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?

A.: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Q.: What do you do all week?

A.: Monday through Friday, NOTHING…Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

Reporters are interviewing a 104-year-old woman.

Q.:”And what do you think is the best about being 104?”, the reporter asked.

A.: “No peers pressure”, she simply replied.

Short stories about themselves: Watch photo expose “Retirees at the Club”

retireesat-the-club

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“I’ve sure gotten old!

1. I’ve had two by pass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.’

2. “I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.”

3. An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher that she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. “Wal-Mart”?, the preacher exclaimed. “Why Wal-Mart?” “Then I’ll be sure that my daughters visit me twice a week”.

4.”My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.”

5. “Know how to prevent sagging?”

“Just eat till the wrinkles fill out”.

6. “It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker”.

7. The Senility Prayer:

Grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway,

the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and

the eyesight to tell the difference.”

Always remember this: You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing!

Enjoy Gordon Lightfoot’s songs: “Steel Rail Blues”

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